Tuesday, April 24, 2007
This is one very fucked up day.
Okay it was happy ponning school with * but..
It was pretty funny really, screaming vulgarities when we were trying desperately not to be seen by fellow classmates.
I think if you were to video me today, you'll have to censor half the sentences i say.
WHY IS MY DAD BEHAVING LIKE SOME FUCKING DICKHEAD AGAIN? HE'S JUST SUCH A MAJOR DISAPPOINTMENT. I DONT EXPECT HIM TO OFFER ME SUPPORT BUT AT LEAST DO NOT FORCE ME TO A DEAD END ALRIGHT? OKAY YOU WANT THAT? I'LL GIVE YOU THAT. I had enough with you honey. If results are all that matters to you, then so be it. You gives so little but yet expects the best. Thats you i guess. I'll still try my best, not to prove it to you, but to prove it to myself. Although my faith is half gone, i'll still strive on. I keep telling myself not to let your harsh words get to me but somehow i can't immune myself to it. You dealt me with blow after blow and left me to bleed myself dry, you pushed me back to where i'll started.
I need someone to pick me up but no one's there.
Who could be trusted to really care.
Those false smiles, lies.
She cuts her skin to shreds, but no one cares.
Pain is her only friend, and the only relief she gets.
All the way LD!
Gold of silver it doesn't matter.
We tried our best and we'll have no regrets( ok that aint true)
I love you LD:)
9:54 PM
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Steph said that if you think you're beautiful, people will either think you're crazy, or agree with you.
Really i would like to believe in that.
Faith kind of gave me the determination to go for the surgery.
I don't know i'll be without them.
I think i'll go call someone now, cause i think i want to cry.
3:39 PM
Actually, there's no such thing as a Harley Davidson biker jacket. I must have been thinking about something else.
12:30 PM
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Maybe i should do this one day.
Stand in the middle of Orchard Road with a sign that says 'FREE HUGS!"
HAHAHA OH YES I WILL
9:42 PM
Oh dear i do fear for monday after i've gotten my contacts today. But i shall be a true blue emogirl on monday and EMBRACE THE PAIN!!
I was all prepared to have my sushi today, even my dad was being extraordinarily nice. Then of course, something has to crop out and ruin my appetite. One which comes in the form of a particularly greasy and hypocritical teacher. AND YES GODDAMNIT I MEAN ADRIAN WONG! Ah well, we had pastamania instead. It was pretty okay, except that it was rather crowded and all the noise is just so damn annoying. Three Cheers!
Just as a side note, i painted my nails pink. It's so revolting i think i like it.
Last night i went to bed with lots of depressed thoughts about... Nah i shan't say.
Free hugs! Against AIDS, Against Discrmination.
Free Hugs in Helsinki.
Group of people gathered in front of a big department store in Helsinki carrying signs "Free Hugs".
Hundreds of passers by got a warm hug - for free.
More about the movement:[link]
Helsinki, Finland
I found alot more pictures on deviantart. It's quite touching really. HAHAHAHA I LIKE IT WHEN I GET INTO A VERY SERIOUS MOOD.
9:04 PM
Friday, April 20, 2007
I just got off the phone with Eunice, and yes i love her again. Despite all the misunderstandings, i guess we're still similar in some ways. I hate those people who are so fucking fake and pretend to be someone they're not. Accept yourself for who you are, cause that's the most beautiful thing about you. But now i'm not sure, i guess i've been wrong about a lot of people. Everybody's a hypocrite in one way or another, the only difference is whether you're brave enough to admit it. Like i am:D HAHA Okay whatever seriously. I want to shred my emogirl image because
1) Everyone calls me emogirl, and they introduce me to their friends as that too. Especially after they saw my syf character.
2) You are a really depressing person most of the time. You get depress over the smallest things, and people tend to avoid you when you're being emo.
3) Emo is upsetting, and unhealthy. I shall not elaborate further here, if you know what i mean.
Here comes the bitching part.
I hate Adrian Wong the bloody hypocrite. I was right to think that he's a nasty person from the start because now he has proved that he indeed is.
My friend is being very idiotic and fake. And it doesn't help that Eunice actually agrees with me, but it makes me feel better about myself.
I don't like myself because i think i'm a very terrible person. Hypocritical.
6:34 PM
This is rather traumatising i'm sorry to say.
Its pretty cool once i got over my initial shock.
Really.
I want to say sorry to some people, for everything i did to hurt them, intentionally or not.
But it's so awkward now, facing them is just too hard.
Now i've got matters of my own to settle.
Maybe it's just my paranoia acting up again, but i trust my instincts. This is the best i can be, i tried, and this is just me.
6:00 PM
Thursday, April 19, 2007
My dad is being such a bitch.
If everytime you talk to me is to lecture me and threaten me, why don't we just forget about communicating?
It won't work if everything's one sided.
8:54 PM
Sunday, April 15, 2007
The research on plastic surgery has done funny things to my brain.
Why do they undergo plastic surgery?
So they can hide away from who they really are?
So that they can be something they're not.
It's like a mask.
Except this mask is permanent.
You can't take it off.
Even when one day you decide you want to be yourself again.
Hahaha emopok is back again
Tomorrow's monday, means running 6 rounds, meaning 40 smelly smelly people.
Love is a web of lies.
Don't sink into it, or you might not make it out alive.
4:48 PM
This. Is so. RUBBISH.
Now my good mood from yesterday's achievement has totally vanished.
The bloody project is dued tomorrow and yes i'm very sure laushi will throw us out of the class we can't present.
And my sweetest mom of course, has to come along and irritate me with her rubbish.
Great. Fantastic. Sparkle.
Now i'll have to spend the rest of the day being a grumpy git and moaning endlessly.
3:59 PM
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Demolition Lovers
Hand in mine, into your icy blues
And then I'd say to you we could take to the highway
With this trunk of ammunition too
I'd end my days with you in a hail of bullets
I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know just how much you mean to me
And after all the things we put each other through and
I would drive on to the end with you
A liquor store or two keeps the gas tank full
And I feel like there's nothing left to do
But prove myself to you and we'll keep it running
But this time, I mean it
I'll let you know just how much you mean to me
As snow falls on desert sky
Until the end of everything
I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know how much you mean
As days fade, and nights grow
And we go cold
Until the end, until this pool of blood
Until this, I mean this, I mean this
Until the end of...
I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know how much you mean
As days fade, and nights grow
And we go cold
But this time, we'll show them
We'll show them all how much we mean
As snow falls on desert sky
Until the end of every...
All we are, all we are
Is bullets I mean this
[x4]
As lead rains, will pass on through our phantoms
Forever, forever
Like scarecrows that fuel this flame we're burning
Forever, and ever
Know how much I want to show you you're the only one
Like a bed of roses there's a dozen reasons in this gun
And as we're falling down, and in this pool of blood
And as we're touching hands, and as we're falling down
And in this pool of blood, and as we're falling down
I'll see your eyes, and in this pool of blood
I'll meet your eyes, I mean this forever
I love this song, it just means so much. Well, in a very emo way yes.
Haha Kris is not a bimbo because she 'thinks'.
I think too! But way too much.
It is all my fault but nothing i do can fix it.
No matter how hard i try, i can't make this right.
And down fall the tears of despair and resent.
Sancia is, such, an idiot.
She just like went "Oh look there's your favourite emo person!"
I, so, do not, like her.
It wasn't funny, i felt quite stupid.
Haha
Quotes Xinyi "Epitome of eloquence "
Uh okay.
5:01 PM
